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Destiny is a Matter of Choice

Why we need to change our thinking from, “You can be anything you want” to “You can be anything you work hard for.”

Why we need to change our thinking from, “You can be anything you want” to “You can be anything you work hard for.”

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is nothing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” William Jennings Bryan

This quote resonates so much with me as an entrepreneur, coach and mother. 

In order to achieve our calm we need to actively work on it. We need to work on our mindset and being strategic versus reactionary. We need to work on our communication skills, and how we show up for ourselves and for our community.

To build the existence that we desire, we have to lay down the infrastructure for it to exist. Our powers of manifestation don’t work if we don’t put in the energy and time toward our goals.

Not only do you have to decide that this is what you want, but then do everything in your power to create the infrastructure to make sure that it happens. Create a plan, place the time block in your calendar. Tell your family, friends and/or colleagues what your goal is. Get an accountability partner. Take lessons or attend a course.

How putting in the work helps you achieve calm

Calm comes from having the confidence and conviction you get from putting your energy toward your goal. Confidence and conviction come from practice and dedication. Practice and dedication come from routine and structure in support of the goal. 

I find incredible calm in being proactive and building a plan that creates space for action toward the things I want to achieve. Having a plan, building in flexibility, and knowing that it might be outside my comfort zone makes approaching something new and unfamiliar less intimidating, and even calming. 

I accept it’s not going to be easy and it’s not going to kill me to work hard – I roll with the punches and ups and downs along the way – because I know that they’re coming and that’s the work of the work of building something meaningful. 

As a parent

We love to tell our kids:

You can be anything you put your mind to! 


You can be anything you want!

In dissecting these words, what we’re effectively saying is that we can get anything we want by just thinking it. And while I truly believe in the power of manifestation, I also know I can wish for a vacation but it won’t show up unless I do the work to be able to afford it, book the travel and arrange for the time off. 

Manifestation and wishing are a piece of the puzzle, no doubt. To visualize yourself where you want to be and telling the Universe what you want is a powerful tool towards getting there. But along with that, we have to put in the work in order to actually achieve and get what we want. 

Want to get a graduate degree? Great! Then you have to put in the work. It won’t just magically appear.

Want your baby to sleep through the night? Great. It might happen miraculously, but the odds are against you there. Most likely you’ll need to do some sort of sleep training.

As parents, we should reframe what we say to be, “You can be anything you work towards.”

This way, your children will grow up to expect and accept the work it takes to accomplish what they want! 

As an employee and entrepreneur

“I’ll just keep my head down, do my job, and my boss will see that I deserve a promotion” was said by no one ever having received a promotion.

“One day I’ll build my dream business and it will be so easy” was said by no one who ever built a successful business. 

At work we can wish for a promotion or raise. We can wish for the clients to come. But first we have to put in the hard work in order to gain the confidence, conviction and expertise that will attract clients and promotions. Otherwise, we won’t get any of those things. Going beyond what others have done or are willing to do is what sets us apart from the rest.

Not everyone is going to excel in their jobs or start their own business. Those who put in the time and effort, blood and sweat (and probably tears as well) will also get the rewards. And the fruits of that labor are so sweet. I am doing this right now with Chaos to Calm!

As a coach, I help my clients make space in their lives and cultivate the energy it takes to work towards what they want. 


If there’s something you want – make a plan, build an infrastructure to support the plan, and activate it. You are worthy of it all.


🧘🏻‍♀️Want to meditate more? Set an alarm on your phone. Download an app. *I use insight timer and the apps reminds me daily at the time of my choosing!)

🎸Want to be a great guitar player? Block out times on your calendar for when you will practice. *I’ve never been good at instruments but Kyle is a wizard on the drums 🥁🤘🏼

🏃🏽‍♀️Want to run a marathon? Build, enroll in or buy a training plan. Join a running group. Find a running partner. *I ran my first marathon in 2015 with Team in Training. They provide coaching, training plans, mentors and more to help you achieve your goal AND you get to raise money for blood cancer research. So much winning!!

👫🏻Want to find a life partner? Put the time in to dating and get to know people. Sign up to a dating site. Go to events that attract people with similar interests to you. *I might Kyle at a Byron Katie workshop. I wasn’t looking for a partner at the time, but found a human who cares as much about personal development as I do.

💯 Want to run your own company and own your time? Create a business. **YAY Chaos to Calm and Be Courageous!!**

For more tips on how to own your calm, sign up for the Chaos to Calm newsletter! 


Reach out, I’m here for you.

Jenna Z Hermans - signature written